“Fast & Furious 9” Review: Crazy Car Stunts, Family Drama, and a 2020 Release We

Man, I finally got to see “F9” in IMA last weekend, and let me tell you, it was an eperience. I’ve been a fan of this franchise since the first one, back when it was just about street racing and stealing DVD players. But this This ninth installment takes things to a whole new level of bonkers, and honestly, I’m here for it. So, the big elephant in the room was the release. This movie was supposed to come out in, like, spring 2020. We all remember what happened then. It got delayed over and over, and for a while, I genuinely thought we might never see Dom Toretto and the family back on the big screen. When the trailers finally dropped, the hype was real. After being stuck inside for so long, the promise of over-the-top car chases and eplosions felt like the perfect therapy. And “F9” delivers on that front, big time. The plot, as you’d epect, is wild. It introduces Dom’s long-lost brother, Jakob, played by John Cena. Yeah, you heard that right. Dom has a secret brother who’s also a master assassin and driver. The family drama gets turned up to eleven, with all the “you betrayed the family” speeches you can handle. John Cena is a great addition; he brings this physical presence and a surprising amount of emotional conflict to his scenes with Vin Diesel. But let’s be real, we don’t come to these movies for the nuanced Shakespearean drama. We come for the stunts that make you yell “NO WAY!” at the screen. And “F9” might have the most “NO WAY” moments in the entire series. I’m talking about a car swinging on a rope through a jungle like Tarzan, a massive truck with giant magnets that can pull cars from miles away, and… get this… a car literally going to space. No, I am not making that up. They strap a rocket to a Pontiac Fiero and send one of the characters into orbit to take down a satellite. I was in that IMA theatre, my jaw on the floor, thinking, “We’ve officially left planet Earth, and I love it.” The movie knows eactly what it is. There’s a self-awareness to the craziness that makes it so fun. Tyrese Gibson’s Roman is constantly pointing out how they seem to be indestructible, which is a hilarious meta-commentary on the franchise itself. The action sequences are just relentless. One minute they’re fighting in the streets of London, the net they’re in a jungle being chased by a… well, let’s just say a vehicle with some serious L-sized tires. The sound design in IMA was insane; you could feel every engine roar and eplosion in your bones. They also bring back a fan favorite in a way that totally surprised me. I won’t spoil who, but let’s just say it involves some clever retconning that had me and my friend, a die-hard “Fast” fan, nudging each other in the theatre. It was a great nod to the earlier films. Of course, it’s not perfect. The runtime is pushing close to two and a half hours, and you do feel it in some of the slower, more dialogue-heavy scenes. Sometimes the dialogue gets a little too cheesy, even for this series. And the laws of physics Let’s just say they took a permanent vacation after the second movie. But criticizing a “Fast & Furious” movie for being unrealistic is like complaining that water is wet. It’s missing the point entirely. The heart of the movie, as always, is family. It’s the word they must say about seven hundred times. But amidst all the chaos, there are some genuinely touching moments, especially between Dom and his little son, Brian. It grounds the insanity, just a little bit, reminding you why you care about these characters in the first place. Overall, “F9” is a massive, eplosive, and utterly ridiculous piece of popcorn entertainment. It’s the kind of movie you have to see on the biggest screen possible. If you go in epecting a grounded, realistic thriller, you’ll be sorely disappointed. But if you’re ready to turn your brain off for a few hours and watch cars do things cars were never meant to do, you’re in for a blast. It’s a welcome, if slightly delayed, dose of pure, unadulterated fun.